How to transform yourself - Paveinai Lanah (2023)

How to transform yourself - Paveinai Lanah (1)

Transformation is not about changing yourself completely to become somebody else. But it is realizing who you are, your capabilities, and the ability to choose who you want to become no matter who you are right now and who you have been. It is also the wisdom to evict negativity that does not support your growth in any way, be it self-limiting beliefs, archaic beliefs, or even culture that no longer fits in the evolved present time.

In 2009 July, I attended an employable skills training in Bon Bosco Institute Kharguli, Assam where we were taught about personal development, leadership, soft skills training, etc, and one of the teachers shared the story of an eagle which stuck with me like glue. Do you know how many years an eagle lives?

It lives for 70years. However, when it reached 40 years, they have to make a tough decision. To DIE or to go through a painful process of CHANGE and live for 30 more years.

At 40, their feathers become heavy, and thick, and no longer support them in flying.

Its beak becomes bent, and its long and flexible Talons become thick and do not support them in grabbing their prey which is their lifeline for survival.


The CHANGE requires the eagle to fly to a high rocky mountain top, stay, and knocks its beak and talons against a rock until it plucks it out and bleeds.
Then the eagle waits for the new beak to grow back after which it will pluck out its old feathers which no longer support him in flying.


After all these, the eagle takes its famous flight of rebirth, famous flight of freedom, and LIVES for 30 more years!

I reflect upon the story again after a long time, and I realisedmylife is the same as that of an eagle. I saw many people after trying and failing to do something choose to go back home and do nothing, but I don’t want to be in that category. Therefore, I allow myself to be inconvenienced because I want to grow, be open enough to unlearn many things and adapt myself to new changes, and stand ‘ON’ the past and not ‘IN’ it.

Changing your old habits is painful, getting out of your comfort zone is painful, and growth is painful sometimes. But we got to choose either to live fully or be safe and stay where we are and die unheard, unknown.

There are certain aspects we must look into in order to transform ourselves such as

  1. Spiritual
  2. Mental and emotional
  3. Physical
  4. Financial
  1. Spirituality: Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all the rest will fall in line. These days many people think spirituality is not needed but I understand spirituality to be the basic firm foundation upon which all other aspects of our existence start to make sense. It is the spirituality that keeps us grounded especially when tempted. We will be tempted to access financial freedom through unfair means and will be tempted to take certain decisions compulsively but if we are spiritually grounded, it will question our decisions/actions with or without religious teaching. Many are propagating, be successful first and then seek spirituality, I can respect that but I disagree wholeheartedly. I want to be clear that Spirituality is not being religious. You can have all the PHDs in all religions but you can have NO spirituality in you.
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Spirituality is that which allows us to see every human being as a human being not trap ourselves with small identities in terms of color, race, caste, creed, religion, clans, geographical origin, etc.

Spirituality allows you to have that grace to see everyone with compassion and make you want to help them in whatever way you can at your best capability.

Spirituality allows you to embrace humanity not just tolerate it. Spirituality allows you to work with different people and be fully involved without any discrimination whatsoever and helps you to dance along the differences. Spirituality helps you to stay humble, grounded, and grateful for every little thing. Most importantly, Spirituality helps you to stay in grace which is necessary to go through life with less friction.

Now, what is your spirituality look like? Which spiritual person is your inspiration not necessarily your financial status? What action would you take in order to grow spiritually?

2. Mental and Emotional Aspects: These aspects take a major chunk in how we feel, think and take certain actions. We go in the direction we think so we need to consciously choose what we consume as our mental food. In the age of technology, everything is available at our fingertips, remember, technology is not the problem but how we use it matters. Even AI knows how to suggest to us the kind of content we like so why can’t we choose that? Human intelligence has led to the invention of AI not otherwise. Our minds can direct us in many ways. Avoid negative self-talk and stop judging yourself too much. We often bombard ourselves with so much negativity, the negative past experiences, we recreate that in our present moment and say, this cannot be done, it is not possible for me, I am too dumb to create anything in life, I don’t deserve to be loved, etc, etc. These are powerful messages, our subconscious mind will take these messages and start manifesting into actions. Avoid negative content, books, or whatever limits your greatness.

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Are you consuming the right kind of mental food by watching or reading something which adds value to your life? Are you able to think of something productive, a new idea that could serve fortune and help millions? Or are you stuck with what’s wrong with you? What could not be happened? Blame game? Victim mentality?

So, what are you going to do for your mental health? Whose book do you want to read, whose course do you want to attend, and whose therapy you would choose to go to in order to have a balanced mental and emotional state of being?

3. Physical Aspects: The cliché “Health is wealth” won’t seem to go away as long as humanity will continue to exist. We cannot do anything productive without health. Imagine your body as a machine and the food that you consume as fuel. Having healed from a chronic backache where according to the doctors everything was normal. Every day before I go to sleep, I used to think will I ever get up someday in my life without this excruciating pain in my body, so now I know the importance of health. What I put inside my body to fuel myself for the day. Dieticians, doctors, etc will tell you all kinds of food to consume, obey what they ask of you to do but also have the wisdom to observe your own body and how it reacts when you consume a certain food. Does it give you energy? Makes you agile? Or does it make you lethargic, and weak and gives you pain?

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Now ask yourself a question, what would I do to improve my health? Am I putting the right kind of food for my body? If my body gets too heavy for me to move around, and I don’t feel confident wearing certain clothes, what should be my weight loss goals? It is important to love our body no matter what shape and size but love your body enough so that you’ll be able to do what is needed for your health, to be confident and proud to see yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself how should you invest in your health.

4. Financial aspects: Many religious teachings have taught us that money is the root cause of all evil. I disagree with this. I feel it’s not true because money is just a medium of exchange which helps us solve lots of our problems. Money or financial freedom helps us to become more of who we are. For instance, if you are a giving person, you’ll be able to become more generous and help many more people. You may be dying to help someone in their career, sponsor them to build their start-ups, or even pay the students’ fees, house rent, or pay their medical bills but you can’t help it if you don’t have money of your own. Learn to save money and be ok with not buying branded clothes or other unnecessary liabilities till you have enough to access all that.

How to transform yourself - Paveinai Lanah (5)

What are you doing each day to reach your financial freedom? How are you investing your time, money, and energy? What is your spending look like? Are you saving at least 10% of what you earn for the unforeseen future? Are you spending more than you earn? What are your action steps to have financial freedom so that you don’t have to worry about your financial health when you grow old? Money will come and go. Where are you investing to grow your money?

Actions: Wishful thinking without action is the beginning of delusion. So, take decisions and put a start that inspired action. It may be slow but that’s ok. Take baby steps each day and move forward. You can start by reading a book, or listening to a talk from people who is spiritually, financially, and physically successful. You may start by taking a 10-minute walk etc. If you are in any area of life where you need improvement, I would want to encourage you to invest in yourself. Investing in your growth first is not selfish, it is important because we cannot help someone out of our emptiness.

Transformation is necessary because that way we will be able to help people with our experience rather than going on preaching what we cannot put into practice. Or go on teaching people what to do which does not work in our life. Transformation is necessary so that we are strong enough to be transparent, and vulnerable and let who we are, find expression. Help others with our experience of breakthroughs. I feel that’s a dignified way of helping someone. People are smart these days, they can see through what’s inside of us without us telling them who we are.

Action and repetition are KEY in transforming your life. Whatever you have decided to do, do it for the first 40 days without fail. If you fail to do it one day in the first 40 days, allow yourself to be disciplined by starting from the beginning as day 1. This is necessary because this way you’ll be able to do things effortlessly going forward.

Your surroundings/environment: Take care of who you are surrounding yourself with. Observe and see who celebrates you when you win, and who encourages you when you are at your lowest, who can tell you honestly without being judgemental. Who pushes you to become better? You needed that kind of person in your life. Also see people who always criticize you no matter what you do, only see what’s wrong with you. See the toxicity and love them from a distance.

Upgrade your relationship, be with someone who is far ahead of you, and look for people who inspire you so that you can be inspired and push yourself even when you want to give up. “Birds of the same feather flock together”. Become the next successful person by associating yourself with successful people.

I just want to be blunt and give it to you the way it is without sugar-coating. I hope you’ll appreciate it that way. Life is short, let’s do what we can do to make this world a better place.

Learn to give up the need to manage other people’s opinions of you.

You are uniquely beautiful in your own ways.

Give yourself permission to love yourself and stand in your brilliance.

Do not think too much about money in exchange for your contribution, just go out to the world with the spirit of service, money will come as a result of your service to the world.

If you are stuck with I don’t know what to do, ask yourself this question “what problem can I solve in the world, How can I make the world a better world as a result of me being born?”

I love you all. Remember, I am your sister in your journey. You are Grace, you are a Possibility!

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